confessions of a modern mom

Top 5 Reasons the Stomach Flu ROCKS

Top 5 Reasons the Stomach Flu ROCKS

Yup, we just spent 6 days enslaved to the stomach bug. What a great time was had by all…I have whittled down the list of awesomeness to just five incredible reasons why having the stomach flu whip through your house can have a silver lining.

5. You get to relive your youthful pre-baby days and pull an all-nighter. As I was holding the girls’ respective hair while they vomited all night long, I pretended that it was the effects of some really awesome nights out dancing and drinking at the clubs, circa 1999. Yeah, it was epic.

4. You save quite a bit of money by NOT having to grocery shop for a full 5 days. Seriously, my kids barely kept down water and that’s FREE! I got to skip a whole big giant shopping spree (and two minor ones, which I usually do for the fresh stuff).

3. You don’t need to schedule anything. Nobody can move, so you don’t have to make plans. You actually get to cancel plans! Ah, another place to save money – you don’t need to get into your car, so you save on gas. Or, if you’re a city-dweller, no need to spend money on any type of transportation. This was the first weekend ever that the girls didn’t leave the house. I mean, we could barely get them to go outside.

2. You find out just how much your kids love you. They cling. They call for you. They scream for you. They hug you so tight your neck feels like it will snap off. But if you were having any doubts that your kid loves you and needs you, the stomach bug wipes it all away.

1. Your house will be clean. That’s because you have to clean every single thing inside your home. The sheets, the bed, the rugs, the floors, the clothes, the lamp, your hair…all the places the projectile vomit hits (which is about 99.9932% of your abode) will need to be disinfected and cleaned. Guess what? Your house will sparkle! Would you really have gotten down on your hands and knees to clean the baseboards if your kid hadn’t puked on them?!? I don’t think so. Take out that toothbrush and get a-cleanin’! Then have a party and call a maid to clean up after that.

And we’re back to normal…

 



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